No Apologies

A few weeks ago, I decided to go to Meetup and look for ways to plug in to my local gay community. Since we moved from Phoenix, my fiancee and I haven't really developed a new circle of friends and I thought it would be a good idea to see what everyone else was up to. In this search I found a group for lipstick lesbians only.

This got me wondering... Who determines what is lipstick and what is not?

I'm most definitely not butch. Certainly, there is nothing wrong with women who are, but I love dresses, my hair is long, I wear makeup... on occasion. On the other hand, I'm definitely Not that girl who can't leave the house without makeup. I'm perfectly willing to go out in public wearing sweats. 90% of the time my hair is in a bun or ponytail, not curled or coiffed into some poster worthy style. So what category of lesbian does this make me? Don't answer that. I'm not interested in someone else defining me. ;)

The process of coming out to my friends and family wasn't a difficult one for me, not because I didn't have people who disagreed with my beliefs, lifestyle, values, etc but because I had already done an awful lot of work on defining myself... Think Audre Lord:

I'd already been there, done that... been crunched, and partially eaten alive, I mean. My journey to come back from that low was filled with learning to love and accept myself, my body, my strengths and talents and my opportunities for improvement. I finally became unapologetically ME, no disclaimers, labels or exchanges necessary.

While my hope for this blog is to facilitate an ongoing dialogue in the lesbian community, I find it troublesome to even step into the lesbian label. I don't run around introducing myself like, "Hey, I'm Kieta. I'm GAY - whatareyougonnadoaboutit?!?" It's not that I have any shame in being head over heels in love with my fiancee, Alissia. It's just that I don't feel like any one part of me can substitute as a definition for the whole of ME.

I am (in no order of importance): funny, smart, a writer, a lifecoach, a lesbian, a dog mom, an avid reader, a blogger, a friend, a sister, compassionate, a servant, a reiki master, a teacher, a babysitter and soooo much more.

Who are you?